1. The KKK lives right down the street. That's right. The KKK is alive and well in Hudson, Florida. Where am I? Seriously? The KKK.
2. When a old person dies, the neighborhood puts a black flag on their mailbox so everyone knows who passed. As if the 14 ambulances and 3 fire trucks didn't give it away.
3. The average family income in Hudson is $29,000/year.
4. Local business make more money in food stamps than in cash.
5. An accountant told me people here were too poor to buy beer. BEER. This economy is screwed.
6. Despite what my home insurance company told me, our house is sitting on a big, fat sinkhole.
7. I shouldn't mess with the big trucks unless I want to die.
8. Bodies have turned up on the trail I walk on, so I should probably find a new place to waddle.
9. There are over 200 sex offenders within five miles of our house. Talk about stranger danger.
10. No one in Hudson mows/waters their lawn unless forced to by deed restrictions and/or heavy fines.
11. Hudson has the highest teen pregnancy rate in all of Florida. Wal-Mart locks up their pregnancy tests behind a glass case.
12. There are almost as many gun stores as there are Subways.
13. I know where Shrek and Fiona live, or at least a couple who claims to be the "real" Shrek and Fiona. Fiona is a school teacher who also believes she's a witch. And she sells Avon.
14. Always stay on paved roads, and if I get lost on a dirt road I should get prepared to be shot.
15. Stay away from the Winn-Dixie after dark.
My neighborhood can beat up your neighborhood.
7 comments:
My inherent competitive nature wanted to argue with you but I just couldn't. #11? Certainly Hudson has been touched by the hand of God.
"And she sells Avon". LOL That is classic. Your neighborhood sounds scary. Last night Justin wanted to walk Kaido at 9:30 and I freaked out that he would get mugged and die. So he had ice cream instead.
Maybe pregnancy is making me irrational :)
winn dixie!!!!! do you guys live near a publix?? always my grocery store of choice back in the ghetto florida days. when are you moving to oregon?
SAFETY FIRST.
Do you have Fiona's number? I need more crap.
This just in: According to NPR, Florida also has the lowest high school graduate rate in the entire USA.
Seriously, I just love you! I missed your posts the three days I was gone.
Sounds like the place to be!!!
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