Dear Florida,

Thank you for the sunny weather. I appreciate not having to wear socks. Unfortunately, you and I have some issues to work out. Recently I've discovered you're a little trickster. That's right. You lure in unsuspecting families with your beautiful weather and warm beaches, but what you don't tell them is how badly you suck. Also, your crappy beaches don't even have waves.

Why don't you require health insurance companies to cover pregnant women, yet blood tests for old people are handed out like candy canes? Why are there only 4 pediatricians in the entire state? While I understand your main purpose is to be a warm place where people come to die, it would be nice if maybe you considered supporting the living as well.

Also, what is this grudge you seem to have towards left turns? Are U-turns REALLY that much more efficient? Let me answer that--they're not. Let me turn left again, damnit.

Even worse than your ban on making a left turn is your rate of teen pregnancy and STDs in middle schools. If I didn't know better, I'd say you hated anyone under the age of 55.

Which reminds me, QUIET GYMS? REALLY? Don't you think setting off an alarm every time someone grunts or drops a weight is a titch over the top? Your senior citizens have some serious control issues.

Anyway, thanks for Disney World.

Much love,

KT

Dear Anxiety, You're Expensive

I KNOW I am one of those moms. But when your baby suddenly comes down with a fever in the middle of the night

The Good News Is, It's Jan. 3rd and We've Already Met Our Deductible For 2009

Which means next time I cut myself shaving my legs I'm going to the hospital to make the doctor put a Band Aid on for me.

We've been sick the entire Christmas vacation. Sadie had barely recovered from her RSV when she got an ear infection in both ears. Warren also came down with a cough and still hasn't recovered. Wednesday night Sadie woke up wheezing and with a bad cough, so we finally decided to take her into the Urgent Care on Thursday. I was hoping to avoid taking her in while we were in Oregon because our insurance is crap and if we go out of our network we have to pay out of pocket. Boo. Warren also went in because he had been coughing for two weeks and wasn't getting any better. They were both diagnosed with ear infections in both ears, and Warren had bronchitis on top of that. We spent $112 on prescriptions for the both of them, plus our little visit will cost us another $500 (or more). Happy freaking New Year. The next day Warren became so sick he couldn't get out of bed or keep anything down. Two of his three prescriptions said nausea was a side effect--one also included vomiting, but the other said to call the doctor if he started to throw up. I finally called the doctor that afternoon because Warren wasn't keeping anything down. When the nurse called back she told us to go to St. Vincent's Hospital in Portland. After several tests, a cat scan, and two bags of liquids, Warren was told he now has a severe sinus infection on top of the ear infections and bronchitis. He was then given three different prescriptions because the doctor thinks he may have had a reaction to the ones from the day before. Bonus.

I am horrible at dealing with sickness because I tend to assume the worst. A cough = pneumonia, headache = brain tumor, bloody nose = brain cancer, side ache = appendicitis, heartburn = heart attack (obviously), etc, etc. Basically, I haven't slept in weeks. Even though I know my neighbor didn't mean to bring her sick daughter over and get us all sick, I can't help but be a little mad at her for acting so blase about her child's cough. Especially when I found out her daughter had RSV. Pretty sure this particular neighbor has lost answering the door when she comes over privileges. At least until my family is better, plus the amount of weeks we were sick, and then maybe a couple additional months for the annoyance of us all being sick over Christmas break.

On a lighter note, here are a few pictures of Christmas morning.







Now please excuse me, it's time to suck snot out of Sadie's nose and clean out the barf bucket.

Ah Crap, THIS THING?

(note: not a picture of me and Santa, just a picture of a creepy Santa that made me laugh until egg nog came out of my nose.)

Hey guys, it's like 2000 and 9! Remember when it was 2008? Stay tuned for a really awesome post featuring pictures of me on Christmas morning not wearing a bra. Or, maybe I'll just post a picture of my daughter. It will be a surprise.

Merry (late) Christmas and happy new year! My husband is sick and went to sleep early and I'm watching WWII documentaries on the History Channel. We totally know how to kick it. We're bringing down the hizzle foshizzle.