The Radio From Hell Show on X96 (a radio station in Utah) does a segment on Wednesdays called "Things That Must Go." It's pretty funny, so I thought I would share my own list of things that annoy me and must stop. If any of you have anything you would like to add, please feel free.
1. People who pee on toilet seats in public restrooms and LEAVE IT THERE. Look, I understand the concept of squat and pee, but if you miss the seat, please wipe it up. Your urine, your responsibility. I promise you there are no bathroom leprechauns who frolic in after you leave to wipe up your mess for you. I don't want to have to wait in a longer line because you grossed up one of the limited stalls for everyone else, and I certainly don't want to be the one who has to clean up after you. It's real simple, people. Take some tissue and WIPE IT UP. Or better yet, learn how to use a freaking toilet. And while we're on the subject, you know that little shiny handle above the seat you just peed all over? That's what we use for flushing. Flushing is that whooshing sound you hear when a civilized person walks out of a bathroom stall. When you flush, your crap disappears down a magical hole and that way I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT WHAT YOU JUST DID.
2. Maternity clothes As if pregnancy wasn't uncomfortable enough, someone decided to invent tight, elastic flaps and sew them into pants made out of heavy cotton. Which, I suppose wouldn't be so bad if I lived in Montana and had to dig through the snow to get to my car everyday, but in FLORIDA? COME ON. First of all, has anyone checked the temperature in Florida? It's a billion degrees outside, and I'm not keen on wearing thick cotton when I'm already over-insulated with all this baby making stuff. Especially not with some elastic band pressing on my belly. I also don't want to wear form fitting jeans that accentuate my expanding butt and thighs. Honestly, I need comfort while I create life to keep me from violently beating strangers in the mall and these clothes AREN'T HELPING.
3. People who litter QUIT! LITTERING! IF I SEE YOU LITTER I WILL FOLLOW YOU HOME AND SIPHON YOUR GAS.
4. Anything mini made in plus sizes If you're overweight, don't wear clothes where I can see your buttocks unless you want your picture circulating all over the Internet.
5. Crocs Enough said.
6 comments:
Ha! Love your post. I agree about crocs. Although I do think they are really cute on little kids (like Reese's age kids). And I just got a hot tip from a friend about maternity pants. The store Motherhood now has a new style where the stretchy cotton part is ultra thin and she says that it stays up soooo much better. It's worth a shot to try it.
KT,
You are seriously one of the funniest people that I know. I just love you... Did you hear about that Utah girl that makes $40k a month off writing on her blog? I think that you could do that and make more. Your posts are so entertaining!!!
Seriously, I hear ya on all of them, but especially #1. I was just thinking that the other day when I walked through stall after stall, looking for an un-peed on toilet.
I have honest-to-goodness nightmares about needing a bathroom and not being able to find anything clean. In my dreams, all the public toilets are flooding, covered in human waste, and I'm crying because I can't find a toilet. I think I've seen too many peed on seats to have a normal life.
Okay...first of all, just wait until your maternity clothes that "were" loose start not fitting anymore. And I TOTALLY agree with the whole fat person comment. I mean do the mini clothes help them feel skinnier, because it sure as heck doesn't appear that way!
Yet again, some funny stuff KT. I don't like crocs either, except when Jack where's them. I think they are cute in size 5 toddlers. Other then that. No way.
I hope you are well!
That is hilarious KT. I would have to agree with ALL of your items that must go. What is is with chunky women thinking they can pull off a tube top...or daisy dukes. For the love...whoever is making those clothes needs to STOP immediately.
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