Time for another edition of Make! My! Decision!
For the few of you who may still check this blog, I need your help. I've been on the fence about this whole going back to work dealio, and since I'm positive I'm not alone here, your opinions would be GREATLY appreciated. The thing is, here's the thing, there's this thing, and...okay. I have this great opportunity to go back into financial planning, however, a huge reason I quit the last financial company I worked for was because we don't live by parentals and Sadie would be put in daycare. You know, the whole first-time mama drama over leaving your child in the care of someone else? Ya, you get it. So, I quit. For a few months afterwards I worked for some company-or-other making calls from home, but that job was lame and boring, so I found something else. Then THAT job was really lame and ended up costing me more money than I made...so, I quit again. I'm really not a bad employee with no company loyalty, but some jobs you gotsta quit. After quitting lame job #2, I decided I wanted to try financial planning again. However, while I was going through the training with current financial company, I was offered another job working from home. This second job is low-key, work whenever, part-time, basically perfect for a stay-at-home-mom. So, here's my dilemma:
I'm breaking it up into lists. I find lists are easier to read. Plus, I can cut out all those annoying filler words and sentence structure crap.
Financial Job:
* I like it
* More time away from Sadie
* Probably more stress (although, job or not, I'm going to be a ball of stress anyway. Just the fact that my car needs to be vacuumed out is reason enough to irregulate my breathing.)
* More money
Other job:
* work as little or as much as I want
* stay at home with kiddo
* less money
I'll be honest, it boils down to money. Financial job = more pay, other job = less pay. Job vs. staying home. If I can arrange it so I don't have to go into work everyday, if maybe I only had to go in twice a week, then Job #1 would be ideal. Then again, if I take Job #1 I'll feel more stressed on the days I'm not at work. Then again, Job #1 would be better for the long-term. Then again, Job #2 would allow me to take more naps, read more children's books, and do the laundry.
WHAT SHOULD I DO? I feel so guilty leaving my baby, but at the same time I feel a responsibility to do more. If I worked Job #1 we would have way more financial freedom, plus I would be able to transfer if Warren were offered a job in Oregon.
Why can't life be a Choose Your Own Adventure novel that I could flip through and read the outcome before I made my choice?
Whew, it's a good thing I'm delegating this decision you!
20 comments:
Would you be spending the extra money you would make with job #1 on daycare?
If it evened out, I would take #2.
I emailed you my wife's email address. This was a tough decision, but I think you will make the one that is right for your situation.
kristina already asked the question i was going to ask.....
i hope it all works out.
No, I'd make more with job #1, which makes this decision even more sucky.
i say...stay at home, just because if i were in that situation thats what i would do. i think sadie would really benefit from being around you more, and learning more from you while you are at home. unless you REALLY need lots more money. buuut...do you have to pay for child care at job #1, cause unless you are getting paid A LOT more than the other, i think that would make it even less desireable. the end...thats my input
I love when I ask for advice for what "I" need based on "MY" situation and then people tell me what "THEY" would do in "MY" situation rather than give "balanced" advice and suggestions.
Come on people!
Maybe do number 2 until Sadie goes to kindergarten or preschool?
I've stepped back and worked part time and used flex time to keep working. I took a pay cut to be there more for my kids and I have not regretted it.
I can't tell you what's best for you, but when I was in a similar situation, I chose the equivalent of number 2 and have been very happy with my decision. Less money was worth more time with the kids.
I say, kind of do the Choose Your Own Adventure thing and just try making a decision (even if it's fake). That's how I roll. Try thinking about how you'd FEEL if you chose one. See what I'm saying?
Say to yourself, "LET'S DO IT! LET'S STAY WITH JOB #1!" and see how it feels. Imagine yourself in a month, not with more money or anything on the list but just if you'd regret or be thinking, "Crap, I want more time with my kid." Then, say to yourself, "LET'S DO IT! LET'S GO JOB #2!" and see if you feel like, "This sucks, I LIKED job #1 and should have stuck with it," or if you feel like "This rocks." This is how I make most of my decisions (seriously) and when I do it, I usually realize that I already know what I want and am just faking myself out.
Also, maybe there's a job #3 out there? And plus, friend, remember that none of these choices is permanent. If you don't like your choice you can rearrange.
yo "d and d" thats how advice is given! through your own experiences and thoughts! Advice is a form of relating personal opinions, belief systems, personal values and recommendations about certain situations relayed in some context to another person, group or party often offered as a guide to action and/or conduct. ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advice_(opinion) :) ....just sayin
hmmm. that's a toughy. how about i just don't give my opinion but offer you lots and lots of empathy: bummer dude.
Hmmmm...tough decision. I guess I'd have to say that if it's really about money, then your choice would be depending on how well you can survive on less. If it's too difficult to pay the bills or do what you want to do, then take the financial job. If you can make it work but it will be a little more challenging (but doable) I'd say take the other job.
But of course that is assuming that it really mostly is about money. If deep down you feel like you want to do more or that you'd be happier at work, I wouldn't feel guilty about taking the job. I stay at home but it's really difficult, especially when you are away from family. Do what makes you happy!
Good luck!
Love the advice from Gurrbonzo. Also, I think Warren may have some nice input on this subject as well :)
I have to stick up for "Dustin Christie and Bee" here too. D and D came across a little harsh I think. BUT that may be because he thinks little Sadie will be smarter, healthier, less likely to have leukemia and a better reader if you send her to daycare. You don't want Sadie to have Leukemia right?? I'm just saying. I am sure you will make the RIGHT *wink wink* decision for you.
http://www.clangardner.com/2009/03/3-daycare-perks_28.html
Sucks to be you. It's always fun trying to decide "whats right for my family."
I wish I had some good advice for you. I worked after I had our first, but we had free babysitters. I would really struggle with putting my kids in daycare.
I say flip a coin.
KT - I also struggled MAJORLY with this decision. I finally came to the conclusion that as a woman you will feel guilty no matter what you choose. If you choose to stay home with your baby you will feel guilty that you aren't working and making money. If you choose to work and make money you will feel guilty that you aren't staying home spending more time with your kids. I definitely think there is middle of the road though. I work 2 to 2 1/2 days a week and I absolutely love it and it has been a really good decision for our family. However - my babysitter is my mom which makes it a lot easier. I would lean towards Job #1 if you don't have to work full-time and you can find someone you trust to maybe trade babysitting with rather than put her in daycare. I think that if you really feel like Job #1 is the right decision you can make it work for your fam. I also agree with gurbonnzo - make a decision and see if it feels right. I have found that with the right decisions things naturally fall into place and you know you have made a good choice. Whew.....
Sensitivo! Kamie you seriously need to get a life if your scanning a complete strangers blog looking for ammo to use on a blog comment post and then to top it off you safe joking about children having leukemia. My brother in law almost died of juvenile leukemia.
Secondly, I have never told KT what to do. I referred her to my wife who was in a similar situation. I may be a little more sensitive to this question because most Mormons are very judgemental about working moms. My apologies for using CAPS for emphasis.
Here's the thing... you're a mom now. Anything you do will become a "choose your own adventure" with nothing less than your child's future at stake. No pressure, huh?!?
I think all moms have struggled with this choice in some way. Personally I chose choice #2 in our situation. There are days when I wish I had more money or more prestige at work, which I basically gave up- but then again, I get to be here and see all the little things each day. None of us can choose for you (sorry) but the bottom line is that whatever you choose, Sadie will be great because if you're happy she will be too. Best of luck. It's a tough pick either way. Most of all, you should come back to Oregon. Can't you choose an adventure in the NW? Sheesh! :)
Yeah how much is daycare? And if you can work as MUCH as you want, how much is the monetary difference?
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